I stood there. Breathing heavily but slowly. ‘Breathe in. Breathe out.’ I kept repeating to myself.
The moment this struck my ears along with the thundering applause from over 200 people, I was energised. With the fact that he was waiting for me there, once again, allowing me to go ahead with public speaking and making me realise that I belong with the podium more than anywhere else, I was further encouraged.
I walked up to him. Looked at his spongy head which quickly gave way to his sleek, flexible black body and adjusted it according to my convenience. Convenience so that I could be more emphatic with my words. This was one form where I realised that love must bend when necessary. Adjust according to your better half when needed. He did it for me and I aimed at never letting him down and resonating only eloquent, expressive and meaningful combinations of the alphabet through him. Everytime at such an event, he would give me complete freedom of space and time to make myself feel welcomed around him. Such patience is a mark of true love, acceptance and comfort. Love that is usually not a ‘first sight’ case but is developed through regular but ironically public encounters.
The audience was dark and no human face was evident. It made our relation even stronger. In a room full of people, we felt liberated, we felt stronger together, a team. Is that not what love is ideally perceived as? Well, it is true.
I could be myself around him for it was effective speech that I loved the most. I like to believe that despite his silence, he too was comfortable in his own ‘case’ with me. We shared mutual dependence as well. Without his resonating ability and skill, I could not reach as many people as I did with him and without my enthusiasm to embrace that stage moment, he would be looked at as an object to fear from.
I continued with my human speech and he just stared for the entire duration. Right into my face. I could not make out whether he was smiling in pride or judging my beliefs or critically framing questions to throw at me later. It was his way of unbiased support. His expression was always straight. However, this is somewhat frustrating. You know the ‘read in between the lines’ thing. So sometimes, you just have to ignore him and save the review for later.
I had heard that too much ignorance can hinder relationships. Well, that too is true. Ignoring the distance between us, I would sometimes, at initial stages, become either too loud or not adequately audible. He as a reminder for the same would create an echo or let out an irritating noise like chalk being dragged on a black board. You see that it is nonverbal communication. If this is effective in any relationship, the relation has definitely evolved. Ours did, over the years.
However, the best was when my part of speaking was done. I always particularly made my concluding words very clear. He would enunciate it in the exact manner to those opposite him and I. To show his rather pricy appreciation, he would be silent and let me feel my moment of applause and self-accomplishment. Such modesty!
There are many in the world like him and several like me too. It is solely the connect that we share that makes the place redundant in our relation. I have an urge of going back to him as frequently as I can and he shows up in several avatars, reminding me of his existence. Be it on the podium where he looks most handsome, or in a thicker body and larger head which can easily fit to the extent when I curl my fingers around him and even move around the stage, the recording app on my iPhone and sometimes even hanging from the ceiling like Spiderman. The form does not matter, the connection the transparency and the familiarity do. Most certainly in our case.